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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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laurenc

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laurenc
  • Town/Country : Dallas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 March 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 881
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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laurenc's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML

#14310097 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (39581) - you deserved it (4851)

On 12/23/2010 at 11:13am - misc - by unfortunategeek - United Kingdom

Today, I took a shower and right after I fell asleep on my bed wrapped in my towel. I awoke to find my dad slapping me in the face. He thought I had fainted because I'm a diabetic. FML

#13610970 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (16314) - you deserved it (3415)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:07am - health - by haleyfml - United States (California)

Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML

#12848184 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (4108) - you deserved it (35277)

On 09/01/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by MisterMisinformed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

#12577034 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (29384) - you deserved it (3143)

On 08/17/2010 at 3:10am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (5171)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

#9104990 (277)

I agree, your life sucks (29770) - you deserved it (2744)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my new neighbours came over to introduce themselves. I open the door to see my ex-husband, with a horrified look on his face, and his girlfriend. FML

#9029119 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (1173)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by abby0019 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (15362) - you deserved it (14942)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (12485) - you deserved it (4275)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

#8864405 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (19091) - you deserved it (3723)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:05am - kids - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML

#8859695 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (7187) - you deserved it (22809)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - love - by mariah_1_11 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked into Mcdonalds to get a meal. I saw the donation box and felt generous so put some money in. Instead of putting a $5 note I put a $100 note. I asked if they could open it to get it back. They didn't have a key. FML

#8854004 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (6779) - you deserved it (19404)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:55pm - money - by Aboriginal (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (16275) - you deserved it (1543)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

#8841470 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (3318)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:06am - love - by jonnah - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML

#8814971 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (8353) - you deserved it (7407)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by J-Ro - United States