lathewong

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Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 5:43am)

lathewong

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  • Number of visits : 873
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lathewong's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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lathewong's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

by duped / 10/29/2011 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

by ricksterile / 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

by Hoggiebear / 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

by Smart / 09/16/2011 at 10:42am / United States / Kids

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

by whyarewerelated / 09/08/2011 at 11:41am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

by socialdisease / 08/22/2011 at 11:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML

by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho / 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

by Stevie / 08/16/2011 at 2:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

by Anon / 08/16/2011 at 2:27am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

by Savannah / 08/01/2011 at 5:20pm / United States (Alaska) / Money

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

by ElixirRose / 07/20/2011 at 8:36am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, at work, our team started a new sales strategy of selling flowers to men by asking them to buy one for their lovely ladies. The first guy I ask ends up crying and telling me his wife passed away a week ago. The woman with him was actually his sister. FML

by Auston / 07/17/2011 at 1:16am / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

by eenkoekje / 05/13/2011 at 3:20am / Kids