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lathewong

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lathewong

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  • Number of visits : 444
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lathewong's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

#17910918
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30162) - you deserved it (4815)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by Hoggiebear - United States (Georgia)

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

#17757259
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24262) - you deserved it (2638)

On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

#17696149
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20908) - you deserved it (2397)

On 09/08/2011 at 11:41am - work - by whyarewerelated (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

#17547358
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24394) - you deserved it (4567)

On 08/22/2011 at 11:58am - misc - by socialdisease - United States (New York)

Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML

#17522033
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27761) - you deserved it (8276)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm - misc - by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28522) - you deserved it (3408)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (12304)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

#17333987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34432) - you deserved it (2498)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Savannah - United States (Alaska)

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15322) - you deserved it (42211)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, our team started a new sales strategy of selling flowers to men by asking them to buy one for their lovely ladies. The first guy I ask ends up crying and telling me his wife passed away a week ago. The woman with him was actually his sister. FML

#17144161
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30609) - you deserved it (4546)

On 07/17/2011 at 1:16am - work - by Auston (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44012) - you deserved it (3120)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32694) - you deserved it (14537)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

#16111530
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30115) - you deserved it (7735)

On 05/09/2011 at 10:34pm - kids - by richkief76 -

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

#15702397
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22067) - you deserved it (11598)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:01am - health - by FistFighter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18143) - you deserved it (82654)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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