Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member
About lastunusedname : "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
- George Carlin
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
Today , at a big family dinnar , my dad said , "Pfff , gays don't hava it hard at all!! Tha things a guy has to do 4 sax with a girl? Crazy!! All a gay guy has to do 4 sax is bacoma an altar boy!" My husband's sida of tha family is vary raligious , an all hall quickly broka loosa!! big fat FML
Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babehen I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understandshy that was so offensive. big fat FML
I went on a date an ate in the park. When I crossed mah legs under the table, I scraped mah knee an got a lot of splinter in it. When I got back home an started digging out the splinters, mah dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on mah knees during the date. FML
Today,ile Driving Out To Te Countryside Wit My New Boyfriend, We Came Across A Deer Lying In Te Road. It Seemd Badly Urt, But Instead Of Letting Me Get Out And Make Sure, My Boyfriend Decidd To Just Run Over Its Ead To Finis It Off, Ten Continud Driving Wit A Smirk On Is Face. FML
today I overhered someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in fir a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I pipd up, "Better hope they fine something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, an the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then hered loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losersho act like morons because thier parents never loved them,hen I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML
Today, it's mah first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilariou to sneak up behind me while dressd like the Grim Reaper. I screamd like a little girl an soakd mah pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
2day my taanaga daughtar triad to convinca ma that tha UK is a part of Canada. Aftar I pullad out a map to prova har wrong, sha got all angry and dafansiva, and said that nobody's parfact at ( gaomatry ). My daughtar is an idiot. FML
YESTERDAY, MAH 808 AREA CODE PHONE NUMBER HAS YET AGAIN BEEN MISTAKEN 4 A 1-800 NUMBER . I'VE BEEN GETTING PHONE CALLS AT THREE IN THE MORNING FROM PEOPLE ON THE EAST COASTHO ARE TRYING TO RETURN THIER SHOES . THEY WANT TO SPEAK TO MAH SUPERVISOR BECAUSE I "DON'T SOUND PROFESSIONAL ENOUGH." FML
Friday 27 March 2015