lassal

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lassal

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 849
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lassal's page activity

Visits<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 9:47pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:50pm<b>toxic_hippos</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 7:10am<b>Shadown</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 5:48pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 4:27am<b>AJ_27_13</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:26pm<b>sophiurr</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:03pm<b>ForwardUn2Dawn</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 3:51am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 6:02pm<b>Dre27</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:15pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Brandon2916</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 2:08am<b>HyperFUSE</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:16pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 7:57am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 1:38am<b>ex_omer</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 6:41pm<b>rob02</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 8:52pm

lassal's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of lassal's badges

lassal's favorite FMLs

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

by newbffswelcome / 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Miscellaneous

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

by What the fuck, son? / 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Kids

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

by revan546 / 04/26/2013 at 9:23am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 11:51am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm / United States / Love

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 3:56am / United States / Intimacy

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

by itsnotyouitsher / 03/09/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

by no sir I have not / 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Work