Search for a member

Offline (the 02/14/2015 at 4:05am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 June 1966 (50 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 515
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lasagnanarcotics : I know rite

lasagnanarcotics's page activity

Visits<b>morgganluke</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 10:00am<b>blazerman</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:05pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 4:41am<b>Jarod11191</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:18am<b>looking4funny</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:50pm<b>darkmournings</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 8:55pm<b>PePziNL</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:54pm<b>jth1623</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 9:10pm<b>hayleymaybe</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 8:55am<b>xninix</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:29pm<b>yankfan89</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 1:24pm<b>spacepants</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:29pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:25pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 2:03pm<b>Evil20071</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 1:47pm<b>Jessica00</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 1:01pm<b>Soulsbane96</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:42am<b>FaduFai</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:40pm

Fucked!<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 10:41am<b>looking4funny</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:51am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:25pm

lasagnanarcotics's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lasagnanarcotics's badges

lasagnanarcotics's favorite FMLs

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

by ameliaruth09 / 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

by can't win / 01/13/2015 at 11:25am / Australia / Love

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

by failingdaily / 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Geek

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

by Perdito_Coño / 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2014 at 12:14am / United States / Love

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm / New Zealand / Kids

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

by mcmanager / 08/11/2014 at 10:18am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2014 at 7:25pm / Sweden (Vasternorrlands Lan) / Health

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

by tlm84 / 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

by Carlee_Casten / 06/17/2014 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous