larhand

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Offline (the 10/29/2015 at 7:29pm)

larhand

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 581
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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larhand's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:50pm

larhand's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of larhand's badges

larhand's favorite FMLs

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

by anonymous / 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

by SqueakingRetard / 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

by gymgirl / 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

by whyme / 09/12/2013 at 10:44am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

by cheated / 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

by idk ask freud / 07/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

by nopanties / 03/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Work