About lameuser : Pigeons
The all great and mighty pigeons.
About lameuser : Pigeons
lameuser's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
lameuser's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Not Wanted / 09/06/2014 at 9:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by rc2981 / 06/13/2014 at 6:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML
by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug / 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
by augiedd / 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
by fuck you, jack / 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by give me an F / 01/05/2014 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
by LeaveHimAlone / 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML
by Anon / 12/18/2013 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by um...no? i don't think so anyway / 12/15/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2013 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML
by :/ / 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…