Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lameuser

Offline (the 05/13/2014 at 3:23am) | Search for a member

lameuser

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 686
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About lameuser : Pigeons

Pigeons

The all great and mighty pigeons.

lameuser's page activity

Visits<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - yesterday at 11:20am<b>DucHung</b> - yesterday at 9:06am<b>jerzjay</b> - yesterday at 9:05am<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:29pm<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:25pm<b>im_fran</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:10am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:46pm<b>ronberg</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:18am<b>flufee2</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:56am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:57am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:18am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:33pm<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:46pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:40pm<b>C3S4R_V4R3L4</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:15pm<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:08pm

lameuser's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of lameuser's badges

lameuser's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45075) - you deserved it (6155)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, artwork that I had been working on for months was destroyed, leaving me almost in tears. The culprit? A lonely pigeon who'd got into the room and shat all over it. FML

#21173111
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38503) - you deserved it (4531)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:45am - animals - by rc2981 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

#21139841
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36233) - you deserved it (4284)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

#21078266
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40485) - you deserved it (6643)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm - misc - by augiedd (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41044) - you deserved it (2924)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41393) - you deserved it (33575)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38386) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44061) - you deserved it (4711)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

#20993484
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42073) - you deserved it (5638)

On 12/15/2013 at 2:16pm - love - by um...no? i don't think so anyway (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

#20993041
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25180) - you deserved it (31618)

On 12/15/2013 at 1:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML

#20960170
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (6505)

On 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50838) - you deserved it (5264)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42854) - you deserved it (4667)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41861) - you deserved it (3075)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: