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  • Number of visits : 398
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lalalexie88's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 9:16am

lalalexie88's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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lalalexie88's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my boyfriend a $300 cooler for Valentine's Day. When I asked what he got me, he pointed at my stomach. I'm 3 months pregnant with his baby. FML

by woahlaura / 02/14/2016 at 11:26am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for not showing up to work yesterday. It seems going into anaphylactic shock isn't a valid excuse. FML

by Allergic to Assholes / 01/30/2016 at 4:33am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, it's been three months since i went to my GP for a swollen foot. She sent me to a rheumatologist, a pulmonologist, vein ultrasound, DNA testing and finally an X-ray, which revealed I've been walking around on a broken foot. By now, the two bones are grown together at weird angles, forever. FML

by DeeZeeMb / 12/20/2015 at 7:40am / Slovenia (Maribor Commune) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML

by stupid / 05/26/2015 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

by Random737193 / 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

by lexigan4 / 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

by tw@ / 09/28/2014 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2014 at 11:03am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

by clairebear104 / 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

by kids / 05/12/2014 at 1:17am / Kids

Today, my son gave me some flowers for Mother's Day. Unfortunately, the only time I can enjoy them is when I go into the bathroom where they are kept so the cat doesn't eat them. FML

by darquedraconian / 05/11/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (South Dakota) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

by notbrowsingnow / 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm / United States / Work