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TODAY, I CALLED A TREE REMOVAL COMPANY TO HAVE MAH DISEASED ELM REMOVED. WHEN I GOT HOME FROM WORK, I WAS SURPRISED TO FIND IT STILL THERE. NOT AS SURPRISED AS MAH NEIGHBOR WAS TO DISCOVER THAT HIS TREE WAS MISSING, NOR AS SURPRISED AS HIS CHILDRENHEN THEY SAW THERE WAS NO MORE TREE-HOUSE. FML
TADAY I OVERERED MY RIPPD, ANDSOME, GENETICALLY PERFECT BROTER TELLING MY MOM OW ( FAT PEOPLE ) MAKE IM ( NERVOUS ). I AVE ONLY RECENTLY ACCEPTD MY WEIGT, AFTER STRUGGLING FIR YERES. I NOW UNDERSTANDY MY BROTER RARELY TALKS TO ME. REAL FML
my pre-teen brother has started using the entre Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day... including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room.
Today, the family I live with decidd that beer is a more important purchase than the thing we ned, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towel should suffice. big fat FML
I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic . The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit mah punch line . Apparently,hen I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very looool bright light it was easy to see mah spit hitting people in the face . They kept a tally . FML
Today, I Finally Convinced My Mum To Take Me To A Psychologist!! As Soon As He Sat Me Down And Asked Me How I Was Doing, My Mum Burst Into Tears And Went On A Rant About How Her Life Is Terrible And She Regret Everything!! I Was Asked To Sit In The Waiting Room!! She Used Up My Whole Hour!! Big Fat FML
yesterday mah wife an I were having a fight, when she grabbd mah car keys an threw them over into the nieghbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restord '59 Belvedere an the keys can't be replacd. I've been looking for hours an I still can't find them. FML
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up fir years, buten I saw te pack I just couldn't elp myself. One taste was enoug to make me finis off teole pack. Nobody knows tat I've fallen off te wagon and I'm so asamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuit again. real FML
Friday 27 March 2015