lalaland4321

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lalaland4321

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  • Number of visits : 611
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lalaland4321's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I'm getting my period pretty soon. How? I started crying and throwing plates because I thought we were out of sweet bread. FML

by FuckYouMotherNature / 08/07/2013 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

by mcdonalds / 08/06/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Health

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2013 at 5:36pm / Sweden (Dalarnas Lan) / Animals

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2013 at 11:33am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

by riiiighhhttttt / 08/05/2013 at 1:38am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

by seriously? / 08/05/2013 at 1:11am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

by Neanderthals walk among us / 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Work

Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered and said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, and that's why she has such bad balance. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

by tkghan / 08/02/2013 at 10:53am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

by YouSoSmelly / 08/02/2013 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

by hangman / 08/01/2013 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Love

Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML

by are these people even HUMAN? / 08/01/2013 at 11:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Work