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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5044
  • Number of comments : 1938
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

#14881975
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49499) - you deserved it (6895)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

#14831620
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (9446)

On 02/03/2011 at 9:14pm - animals - by Disgusted - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

#14820910
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26808) - you deserved it (5613)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she met someone else on World of Warcraft. I've been paying for her subscription. FML

#14783005
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (13566)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:58am - love - by Thanh Quang -

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

#14772330
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (2617)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:46am - kids - by QuicksilverMaximoff (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML

#14753081
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51729) - you deserved it (4242)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by FamilySecret - United States

Today, I let my friend borrow my car. She parked it in a towing zone, and it was towed. The best part is, it was towed by a bogus towing company. The cops assure me it's safe in a chop shop somewhere. FML

#14716364
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (3806)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by pedestrian (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17590) - you deserved it (39401)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (3635)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

#14160677
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33989) - you deserved it (2268)

On 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML

#14138501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28877) - you deserved it (8002)

On 12/09/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, while working as a hotel guard I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I asked him to move and he ignored me, continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyed and started to yell at him. After a few minutes I realized he was dead. FML

#14126104
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (9377)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML

#14095149
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12690) - you deserved it (72300)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59847) - you deserved it (4688)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -



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