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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

29Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11557
  • Number of comments : 2749
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>BlaqMontana</b> - 13 hours ago<b>saffy66</b> - 14 hours ago<b>JayGatsby</b> - yesterday at 11:25pm<b>astral12345</b> - yesterday at 8:10pm<b>NoName011</b> - yesterday at 3:40pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - yesterday at 10:46am<b>julia2750</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Mr_Satan</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:28am<b>dont_doubt_me</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:36pm<b>Di11y</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:18am<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:01am<b>DarthTaco351</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Roxy41013</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 1:14pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:07pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:08am<b>addixkay</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:53am<b>lazrguideddonut</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:14am<b>VolitairianArrow</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:16pm

Fucked!<b>saffy66</b> - 8 hours ago<b>JayGatsby</b> - 20 hours ago<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:53am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:18am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>csjc</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47am<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:03pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:20am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:01pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (4093)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (4255)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

#19786572
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35805) - you deserved it (4284)

On 06/14/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by anonymous - China (Jiangsu)

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

#19774183
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (3408)

On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

#19763294
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33629) - you deserved it (5156)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15697) - you deserved it (41928)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML

#19746532
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30028) - you deserved it (3911)

On 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm - misc - by HELP - United States

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29175) - you deserved it (3215)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29175) - you deserved it (3215)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38639) - you deserved it (2794)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (2323)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17587) - you deserved it (42885)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17925) - you deserved it (3315)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27545) - you deserved it (3916)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

#19557308
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27658) - you deserved it (3061)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:02am - intimacy - by epicsquishii (woman) - United States (California)



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