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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5936
  • Number of comments : 2017
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>katydid91</b> - 8 hours ago<b>AdolphHipster</b> - 11 hours ago<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - 18 hours ago<b>BlackIce911</b> - 20 hours ago<b>JayDay_123</b> - yesterday at 9:12am<b>ChristianH39</b> - yesterday at 3:04am<b>MrKronos</b> - yesterday at 12:47am<b>drivingmissdaisy</b> - yesterday at 11:32pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:36pm<b>wysteria14</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:24pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:53pm<b>DisabledSkeleton</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:38am<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:47am<b>KushCrushin89</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:28am<b>nechelle365</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:38pm<b>Unkreative</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:19pm<b>aireeahna</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Dccj456</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:31pm

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35251) - you deserved it (4935)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17369) - you deserved it (74010)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49557) - you deserved it (5274)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

#15661688
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35754) - you deserved it (3146)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15662) - you deserved it (44956)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

#15591776
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46133) - you deserved it (6025)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by guest - United States

Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML

#15570685
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (14667)

On 03/31/2011 at 1:49am - health - by foreverafatty (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (53680) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45160) - you deserved it (7239)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37104) - you deserved it (31464)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15503) - you deserved it (46789)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54050) - you deserved it (5160)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

#15319937
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14283) - you deserved it (51193)

On 03/15/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by sylverster - Singapore

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

#15317811
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (11842)

On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107616) - you deserved it (6444) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France



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