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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5640
  • Number of comments : 1993
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

#15591776
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46115) - you deserved it (6022)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by guest - United States

Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML

#15570685
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (14664)

On 03/31/2011 at 1:49am - health - by foreverafatty (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27391) - you deserved it (53660) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45134) - you deserved it (7238)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36700) - you deserved it (31277)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15492) - you deserved it (46773)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54027) - you deserved it (5159)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

#15319937
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (51174)

On 03/15/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by sylverster - Singapore

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

#15317811
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (11841)

On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107553) - you deserved it (6443) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107553) - you deserved it (6443) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML

#15294376
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33088) - you deserved it (3251)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

#15291408
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47986) - you deserved it (3770)

On 03/13/2011 at 8:48am - misc - by randinosaur - United States (Delaware)

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

#15291408
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47986) - you deserved it (3770)

On 03/13/2011 at 8:48am - misc - by randinosaur - United States (Delaware)

Today, for our last kid-free dinner before the birth of our 4th child, we chose a Japanese hibachi restaurant. They sat us with a family with a toddler, who started screaming at the first flame trick, causing the chef to cease to do anything entertaining. FML

#15267511
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28869) - you deserved it (3961)

On 03/10/2011 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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