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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

51Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14262
  • Number of comments : 3156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>antonio_bob</b> - 5 hours ago<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Toonice45</b> - 15 hours ago<b>smxiricky</b> - 16 hours ago<b>phoneaddict13</b> - 23 hours ago<b>papygeorges</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:18am<b>damnfam</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:50pm<b>kwilkens</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:19pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:49pm<b>Guler28</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:08pm<b>saxyguy</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:41pm<b>slim_immy</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 4:14am<b>fufufe</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:28pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:31pm<b>psmith78332</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:30pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:20pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:01pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:33am

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - 9 hours ago<b>phoneaddict13</b> - 17 hours ago<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:48pm<b>cupcakebruh</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:07pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:39am<b>explodedtaco</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:17pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:18am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:53pm<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:25am<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:35pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:43pm<b>FlashlightBob</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:44am<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:51am<b>openminded8</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am

laden_swallow09's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (7285)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11242) - you deserved it (28997)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (1784)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52140) - you deserved it (6512)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26901) - you deserved it (3673)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

#20160706
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6917) - you deserved it (52748)

On 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm - money - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29640) - you deserved it (2386)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (2108)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you deserved it (2631)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32608) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (2800)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30809) - you deserved it (4948)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25598) - you deserved it (3146)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28394) - you deserved it (3541)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (5144)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia



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