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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

31Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12114
  • Number of comments : 2814
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>Smooth_Criminal</b> - 6 hours ago<b>16bees</b> - 7 hours ago<b>merickaa</b> - 9 hours ago<b>enginsteve</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:45am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:54am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:45pm<b>qjdb</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:53pm<b>llamingo</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Laeffy</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 6:52pm<b>talking_toilet</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:26pm<b>PhillyEagle</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:22pm<b>meowmerz</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:42am<b>zebbre</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:19am<b>nutinbuttkatze</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:51pm<b>blake1015</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:49pm<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 5:49pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 8:00am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:22pm

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>ThatGuy878</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:53am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:18am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>csjc</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47am<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:03pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, after rolling my car on the highway, I witnessed several people stop and get out of their cars to take pictures. No one asked if I was okay, and I was the one who had to call 911 for myself. FML

#19988721
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30222) - you deserved it (2145)

On 07/28/2012 at 5:56am - health - by Insomniac (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML

#19987541
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (7292)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26685) - you deserved it (5827)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (1816)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

#19929882
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29475) - you deserved it (6421)

On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20657) - you deserved it (7062)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66082) - you deserved it (5411)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

#19867742
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24869) - you deserved it (2901)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States

Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML

#19864219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (2819)

On 06/29/2012 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Christina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (81144)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (81144)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29045) - you deserved it (3315)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

#19799691
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24376) - you deserved it (10997)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30698) - you deserved it (4093)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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