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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5205
  • Number of comments : 1944
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>PB_Crocodile</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:58pm<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:26pm<b>midnightm16</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 6:44pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:19am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:59pm<b>julia2750</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:37pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:26pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:11pm<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:08pm<b>boser</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:32pm<b>AnonymousSpock</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:16pm<b>snorgia</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:48pm<b>Sam_A16_</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:25pm<b>levention</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:06am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:13pm<b>Niya96</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:05pm<b>ResoundingSpud</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:42pm<b>Thedmorgan</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:48pm

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

#15749672
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53266) - you deserved it (13532)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I filed my taxes. As a divorcée with children, I was supposed to get $3,500 back from the IRS. Alas, my ex's new wife already filed with my children, who don't live with her. I now owe the IRS $250. FML

#15708365
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39641) - you deserved it (3615)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:07pm - money - by fuckmylifeLulu - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37982) - you deserved it (9044)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34836) - you deserved it (4900)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (73948)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49486) - you deserved it (5271)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

#15661688
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35698) - you deserved it (3145)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15625) - you deserved it (44901)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

#15591776
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46063) - you deserved it (6020)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by guest - United States

Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML

#15570685
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25152) - you deserved it (14625)

On 03/31/2011 at 1:49am - health - by foreverafatty (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27348) - you deserved it (53620) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44867) - you deserved it (7210)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (31266)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15478) - you deserved it (46740)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53972) - you deserved it (5158)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China



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