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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

30Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11620
  • Number of comments : 2750
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>ThatGuy878</b> - 18 hours ago<b>BlaqMontana</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:18pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:10am<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:25pm<b>astral12345</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:10pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:40pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:46am<b>julia2750</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Mr_Satan</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:28am<b>dont_doubt_me</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:36pm<b>Di11y</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:18am<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:01am<b>DarthTaco351</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Roxy41013</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 1:14pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:07pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:08am<b>addixkay</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:53am<b>lazrguideddonut</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:14am

Fucked!<b>ThatGuy878</b> - 12 hours ago<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:53am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:18am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>csjc</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47am<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:03pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:20am

laden_swallow09's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49292) - you deserved it (2108)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (2039)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (5865)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (7688)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

#20100208
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19749) - you deserved it (4272)

On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26797) - you deserved it (3503)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31025) - you deserved it (5275)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31025) - you deserved it (5275)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34335) - you deserved it (6829)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

#20092291
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (1790)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25655) - you deserved it (3415)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17457) - you deserved it (26822)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22218) - you deserved it (3564)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29250) - you deserved it (5162)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24386) - you deserved it (2753)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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