Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

laden_swallow09

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

laden_swallow09

6Liked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7141
  • Number of comments : 2188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it. That's likely why you're here, innit?

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Briaangel12</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 10:49am<b>akorpija</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 2:07am<b>Kazze</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 4:05am<b>fml_Rambo</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 8:48pm<b>3051628</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:15am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 9:23am<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 8:48am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 12:33pm<b>HackNSlashHD</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:24pm<b>ozozl</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Azpy</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 4:53pm<b>APH_Italy</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 4:09pm<b>imbetterthanyoo</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 3:05pm<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 9:59am<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 3:11am<b>Liyuesigs</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:01am<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:56pm

Liked!<b>AKlife9999</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:35pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:24pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:17pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:50pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:01pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML

#19007314
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (3640)

On 02/06/2012 at 12:50am - love - by bluesox4 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

#18884912
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (1734)

On 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Sadfaic (man) - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32292) - you deserved it (3219)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46792) - you deserved it (3239)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

#18626777
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43254) - you deserved it (2283)

On 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
276 comments

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42666) - you deserved it (5100)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

#18488568
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29721) - you deserved it (3908)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42643) - you deserved it (4948)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42686) - you deserved it (4481)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

#18370889
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38083) - you deserved it (9349)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66663) - you deserved it (3231)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML

#18229715
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27348) - you deserved it (4104)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54284) - you deserved it (3889)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12377) - you deserved it (56915)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: