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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6550
  • Number of comments : 2112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28892) - you deserved it (23175)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

#19347272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (2070)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25556) - you deserved it (6763)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
93 comments

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7870) - you deserved it (25326)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML

#19227628
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7375) - you deserved it (31434)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29136) - you deserved it (9279)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

#19201046
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26835) - you deserved it (3826)

On 03/02/2012 at 3:30am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35036) - you deserved it (5314)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML

#19007314
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29645) - you deserved it (3635)

On 02/06/2012 at 12:50am - love - by bluesox4 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

#18884912
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29911) - you deserved it (1733)

On 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Sadfaic (man) - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32260) - you deserved it (3215)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46741) - you deserved it (3237)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

#18626777
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42447) - you deserved it (2228)

On 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
275 comments


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