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laden_swallow09

Offline (yesterday at 9:21pm) | Search for a member

laden_swallow09

30Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11630
  • Number of comments : 2750
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>ThatGuy878</b> - yesterday at 4:41pm<b>BlaqMontana</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:18pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:10am<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:25pm<b>astral12345</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:10pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:40pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:46am<b>julia2750</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Mr_Satan</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:28am<b>dont_doubt_me</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:36pm<b>Di11y</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:18am<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:01am<b>DarthTaco351</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Roxy41013</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 1:14pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:07pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:08am<b>addixkay</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:53am<b>lazrguideddonut</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:14am

Fucked!<b>ThatGuy878</b> - 20 hours ago<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:53am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:18am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>csjc</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47am<b>demonddm</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:03pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:20am

laden_swallow09's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23462) - you deserved it (36197)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34500) - you deserved it (9163)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

#20487239
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33343) - you deserved it (5374)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47973) - you deserved it (3581) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28929) - you deserved it (2387)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29293) - you deserved it (2246)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45687) - you deserved it (2558)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35231) - you deserved it (5958)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML

#20474414
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36482) - you deserved it (3708)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41017) - you deserved it (3456)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42938) - you deserved it (7377)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (11659)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (9005)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23888) - you deserved it (3857)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)



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