Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

laden_swallow09

Online | Search for a member

laden_swallow09

6Liked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7607
  • Number of comments : 2235
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it. That's likely why you're here, innit?

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>jerryj</b> - yesterday at 8:12am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:49pm<b>jrod9327</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:49am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:54pm<b>CVP3</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:41pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:05am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:41am<b>melons</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Jetfrog28</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:35pm<b>jelenac</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:36pm<b>Mr_Guy_Dude</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:29pm<b>ohray</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:57am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 6:52pm<b>jsaw9509</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:18pm<b>Dramori</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 10:16am<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 9:38am<b>901_khad</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:36am

Liked!<b>AKlife9999</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:35pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:24pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:17pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:50pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:01pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7936) - you deserved it (19895)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (4318)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25276) - you deserved it (2975)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you deserved it (2206)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

#20058325
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (9139)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

#20057390
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8590) - you deserved it (52672)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

#20057350
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6728) - you deserved it (46544)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19363) - you deserved it (47059)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

#20048535
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8590) - you deserved it (25812)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:33pm - misc - by nolife - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29831) - you deserved it (5718)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28042) - you deserved it (3749)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6401) - you deserved it (71795)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6401) - you deserved it (71795)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: