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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13531
  • Number of comments : 3040
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:19pm<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:59pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:01pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 8:34am<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 7:09pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:58pm<b>Mons</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:33pm<b>doge_ram</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:50pm<b>swishy25</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:35pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Mr_Guy_Dude</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:41pm<b>unpossible</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:27pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:13pm<b>ChimeraThorne</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:12pm<b>Broseidon93</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:07pm<b>chaylea</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:34pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 5:27pm

Fucked!<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:35pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:43pm<b>FlashlightBob</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:14am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:44am<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:51am<b>openminded8</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:14pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>ThatGuy878</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm

laden_swallow09's FML badges


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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51716) - you deserved it (29032)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54579) - you deserved it (6888)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (65148) - you deserved it (3983)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML


I agree, your life sucks (50335) - you deserved it (7314)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (81071) - you deserved it (4020)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39978) - you deserved it (4701)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55255) - you deserved it (3591)

On 07/03/2013 at 2:48am - work - by grammarnazi-forareason (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53576) - you deserved it (8707)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (33109) - you deserved it (6112)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML


I agree, your life sucks (58548) - you deserved it (4816)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62525) - you deserved it (4125)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53411) - you deserved it (12359)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, a woman demanded a refund for a video game. She had no receipt, so due to company policy, I couldn't refund her. She reacted by loudly accusing me of being racist, then yelled that she'd see me in court as she finally stormed out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45909) - you deserved it (2972)

On 06/20/2013 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43436) - you deserved it (2603)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend bought another expensive bong to go with the one he bought last month, along with his new phone, airsoft gun, and various other things he's blown our money on this year. He's bought nothing to prepare for our son, though, who's due next month. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49092) - you deserved it (26508)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:11pm - money - by InconsiderateMuch (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

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