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laden_swallow09

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laden_swallow09

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6536
  • Number of comments : 2107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

laden_swallow09's page activity

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML

#19987541
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (7249)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38270) - you deserved it (8185)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (5465)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (1796)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

#19929882
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (6083)

On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18577) - you deserved it (6722)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62454) - you deserved it (5037)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

#19867742
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (2681)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States

Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML

#19864219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23154) - you deserved it (2609)

On 06/29/2012 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Christina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6207) - you deserved it (80445)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6207) - you deserved it (80445)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26688) - you deserved it (3079)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

#19799691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you deserved it (10592)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30432) - you deserved it (4071)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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