laden_swallow09

Search for a member

Online

laden_swallow09

57Fucked!

laden_swallow09laden_swallow09
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15866
  • Number of comments : 3341
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>DubiousDude69</b> - 9 hours ago<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - 11 hours ago<b>WarMachine68</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Wiringify</b> - yesterday at 9:38pm<b>feven</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 6:27pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 9:09am<b>willowtreeowl</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 9:02am<b>mr_dour</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 9:59pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:20pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 9:01pm<b>neil12321</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 4:27pm<b>kentrm</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:24pm<b>ctosc</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 1:58am<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 11:22pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 6:38pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 10:37pm<b>Poundit</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 11:26pm<b>Guler28</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 6:37pm

Fucked!<b>WarMachine68</b> - 6 hours ago<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:10pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:37am<b>Farklez</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 3:24pm<b>crack229</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 7:43pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 4:59am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 9:48pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:48pm<b>cupcakebruh</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:07pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:39am<b>explodedtaco</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:17pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:18am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:53pm<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:25am<b>Scrambled</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:35pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:43pm<b>FlashlightBob</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:14am

laden_swallow09's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of laden_swallow09's badges

laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

by PickedOnByDamien / 10/02/2013 at 4:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

by whatdoesitmatter / 10/01/2013 at 6:47am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Kids

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

by :( / 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

by chinaski7628 / 09/24/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

by poor teacher / 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2013 at 2:15am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I hit a new low in my financial troubles when I left my work to retrieve twenty-five cents after seeing someone drop it across the street. FML

by collegebroke / 09/22/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Money

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

by Sua / 09/19/2013 at 2:15am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

by anonymous / 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm / United States / Love