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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12932
  • Number of comments : 2962
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About laden_swallow09 : They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…

laden_swallow09's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - yesterday at 10:06pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 4:59am<b>DappeRB</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:43am<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:20am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Ilmoran</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:59pm<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:02am<b>Zinnie</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 7:28am<b>romegatekeeper</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 7:00am<b>foxmatrix15</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:24am<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Geckosrock99</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:00pm<b>KayDee29</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 4:54pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 3:34pm<b>iPixelCheese</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 2:33pm<b>Statichydro</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 9:44pm

Fucked!<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:44am<b>devi_916</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:51am<b>openminded8</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:17am<b>AnAngryyGiraffe</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:14pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>ThatGuy878</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>milkie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Johnnycake23</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:29am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:45am

laden_swallow09's FML badges


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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48985) - you deserved it (2981)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43021) - you deserved it (9248)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57179) - you deserved it (5436)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:01am - intimacy - by tigger2013 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML


I agree, your life sucks (61684) - you deserved it (11230)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, one of my employees filed a complaint against me. He claims that I "pick on him" and make him do things I "wouldn't do". Apparently, making him do his job and trying to convince him to wear clean clothes that don't smell like garbage is considered a bad thing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50929) - you deserved it (4411)

On 07/31/2013 at 10:15am - work - by Zatnikatel (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML


I agree, your life sucks (63397) - you deserved it (9363)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47541) - you deserved it (15486)

On 07/26/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by WhyThankYou (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I sold ice cream to a group of kids. One of them looked sad, because he was the only one who couldn't buy any, so I gave him some for free. Apparently, he was allergic to something in it, and ended up being rushed to the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52989) - you deserved it (7096)

On 07/23/2013 at 2:28pm - work - by Snarty (man) - United States

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51372) - you deserved it (28805)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54265) - you deserved it (6853)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64723) - you deserved it (3951)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML


I agree, your life sucks (50002) - you deserved it (7274)

On 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by So little trust. (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (80691) - you deserved it (3998)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39600) - you deserved it (4666)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

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