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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
yesterday I was at the mall blasting music . I was wereing a nice shrt, an had my iPod in my breast pocket . I noticed a cute grl smiling at me, so I smiled back an as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling . It looked lyk I was rubbing my nipple . FML
Today, I was walking out of mah front door in the town where I intern . I live alone and know no one . As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between mah mat and step . I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
TODAY, WHILE WORKING MY JOB AS A CASHIER, ONE OF THE CUSTOMERS THAT CAME TO THE REGISTER WAS A MIDGET . AS PART OF STORE POLICY, I HAD TO ID HIM, AND HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE SAID HE WAS FROM FLORIDA . SO I ASKED, WITHOUT CATCHING MYSELF, "HOW'S THE WEATHER DOWN THERE?" MEGA FML
Today, I was about to loose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 yeres, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm making this up. FML
Today, I went up to a secludd mountain mah boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phond mah boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone startd playing from the bush. FML
Taday I finally axchangad picturas with tha woman I'va baan saaing onlina 4 soma tima now. Sha rapliad... saying "Thats not funny. Soma paopla actually look lyk that." I sant my raal pictura... and thought I actually lookad pratty good in it. FML
Today just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interestd in I parkd on campus an decidd to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there she appeard out of nowhere an walkd to her car. I was parkd directly behind her car sitting there lyk a creepy ass. FML
Today, I was visiting grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 an after about 30 minute I explaind to her ( I'm going to looool have to leave, it's just too hot in here ). She replid: ( You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell. ) I laughd. She didn't. FML
Taday mah mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work !! I brown bagged mah lunch this morning !! She brown bagged the poop from the litter box !! Both were on the counter !! Guess which one I brought to work? FML
I was looool walking troug te park eating fries. Tere was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. Tey didn't seem too interested, so I trew some fries down as I walked by to try and elp er out. About 2 minute later, I eard screaming. A uge group of pigeon were attacking te old woman. FML
Friday 27 March 2015