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Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41434) - you totally deserved it (3149)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50546) - you totally deserved it (5350)
On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year told me he thinks he might be gay. I took off my shirt, sexily climbed over him and began to kiss him passionately. "What do you think now?" I said seductively. His response? "Now I'm sure I'm gay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53152) - you totally deserved it (10182)
On 06/11/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by Lexxi (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39149) - you totally deserved it (6223)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was vacuuming my car and started to joke around with my six year old brother by sucking up his shirt and hair with the vacuum. I accidently sucked up his penis. My mom has caught him three times with the vacuum now. I turned my brother into a pervert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you totally deserved it (36994)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:12am - kids - by Perv (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from facebook requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59908) - you totally deserved it (2946)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7124) - you totally deserved it (89929)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (95950) - you totally deserved it (22430)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friends apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10218) - you totally deserved it (67507)
On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15189) - you totally deserved it (52070)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by ohhotdamn (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53231) - you totally deserved it (2930)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15536) - you totally deserved it (62916)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21756) - you totally deserved it (55479)
On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)
Today, on the 6 train home, I had a gun placed against the back of my head and my wallet, watch, and iPod stolen. As soon as the robber got what he wanted, he turned and ran, dropping his weapon to the ground... I got mugged by a man wielding a F*ing Pez dispenser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (111404) - you totally deserved it (9970)
On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - money - by BobaFett (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6585) - you totally deserved it (50427)
On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)
