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laaryssa

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laaryssa

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laaryssa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2387
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About laaryssa : I'm just kinda here because between school, work, lifting, playing with hula hoops and netflix, I really don't have much of a life.

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laaryssa's favorite FMLs

Today, I logged onto a website that offered free tutoring. After chatting with the online tutor, he started flirting with me. I was just looking for some help with my homework, not a creeper. FML

#14876662
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24243) - you deserved it (5609)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Chasity (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

#14852501
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15629) - you deserved it (33271)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, and even at this very moment, my ex, who I'm still in love with, is having sex with her new boyfriend. He's my neighbor and she's making a lot more noise with him than she did with me. FML

#14847899
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40396) - you deserved it (6310) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/05/2011 at 1:29am - intimacy - by homerde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

#14793203
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27981) - you deserved it (3604)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

#14728347
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (3224)

On 01/27/2011 at 2:17am - love - by dadum (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML

#14694956
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25283) - you deserved it (2604)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:01am - health - by l0stnwundrland - United States

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35048) - you deserved it (6447)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

#14675565
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29998) - you deserved it (5071)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43926) - you deserved it (6331)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

#14580215
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (27659)

On 01/14/2011 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I had to do 40 squats with a medicine ball. I always made fun of medicine balls my whole life because they looked so easy that even senior citizens did them. I passed out in the middle of the gym. FML

#14569755
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5994) - you deserved it (34677)

On 01/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by shadowsonicstar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (4412)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

#14518373
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23767) - you deserved it (3721)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:11am - health - by whitey (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

#14463925
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25941) - you deserved it (12884)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by ash (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

#14460417
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44461) - you deserved it (5362)

On 01/04/2011 at 5:56am - intimacy - by LoveMyNewBro -



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