Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 07/08/2015 at 10:33pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7551
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laaryssa : I really like netflix and I do tricks with hula hoops.

laaryssa's page activity

Visits<b>zyero</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Swarmling</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:54am<b>MathIsStupid</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:08am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:00pm<b>qwtf</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:17am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Bloopyboink</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:51am<b>Whoop_whoop</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:24pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:53pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:39am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:12am<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:11am<b>nightwings</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:02am<b>mattbaker</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:17am<b>sarahmfighter</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:47pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:45pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:45am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:28am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:37am<b>lex1459</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:00am<b>soak_25</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 4:16am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:21am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 4:38am<b>Shayaan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:09am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:15am<b>davered89</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:15am<b>Sailer16</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:51pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:11pm<b>BriannaOk</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:25am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:52am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:20am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>CambodianPenguin</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:37am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:59pm

laaryssa's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of laaryssa's badges

laaryssa's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36689) - you deserved it (9673)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML


I agree, your life sucks (38116) - you deserved it (26333)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML


I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (5462)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40074) - you deserved it (4429)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36521) - you deserved it (4758)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37130) - you deserved it (2865)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:23am - health - by jc2011 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9552) - you deserved it (29702)

On 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36590) - you deserved it (18255)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML


I agree, your life sucks (39835) - you deserved it (25310)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8712) - you deserved it (64635)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36319) - you deserved it (4369)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by stupidboys - United States

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35347) - you deserved it (2903)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32272) - you deserved it (2848)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34435) - you deserved it (4313)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: