Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

laaryssa

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

laaryssa

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2328
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About laaryssa : I'm just kinda here because between school, work, lifting, playing with hula hoops and netflix, I really don't have much of a life.

laaryssa's page activity

Visits<b>CammyGal</b> - yesterday at 1:40pm<b>JS47</b> - yesterday at 12:01am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Niedermayer_20</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:25am<b>bobdlawr</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:50pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:35pm<b>steftriv</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:16pm<b>atav</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:11pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:01pm<b>gonzo209</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:50pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:47pm<b>cdawg69</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:06pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:06pm<b>grapegamer</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:39pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Murkyy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 7:03pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:04pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:09pm

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:35am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:38am

laaryssa's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of laaryssa's badges

laaryssa's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

#14675565
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29991) - you deserved it (5071)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43922) - you deserved it (6329)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

#14580215
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (27657)

On 01/14/2011 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I had to do 40 squats with a medicine ball. I always made fun of medicine balls my whole life because they looked so easy that even senior citizens did them. I passed out in the middle of the gym. FML

#14569755
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5994) - you deserved it (34673)

On 01/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by shadowsonicstar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25830) - you deserved it (4409)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

#14518373
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23761) - you deserved it (3720)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:11am - health - by whitey (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

#14463925
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (12881)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by ash (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

#14460417
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43653) - you deserved it (5280)

On 01/04/2011 at 5:56am - intimacy - by LoveMyNewBro -

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (3025)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, I discovered that the painful eczema I get every winter was actually being caused by the moisturising cream I use to treat it. FML

#14221798
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25570) - you deserved it (3801)

On 12/16/2010 at 7:06am - health - by spleg (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

#14208916
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37249) - you deserved it (3801)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my no-work-experience brother has just accepted a 50k/year job. He is still in school and has never had a job. I work as an intern for 11 hours a day, get rude emails from my boss, and have 3 degrees and 5 years work experience. FML

#14126795
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28896) - you deserved it (4306)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:17am - work - by underemployed (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30388) - you deserved it (13888)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML

#13944368
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28944) - you deserved it (4033)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by smallfrie32 -



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: