laaryssa

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Offline (the 07/08/2015 at 10:33pm)

laaryssa

31Fucked!

laaryssa
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10658
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About laaryssa : I really like netflix and I do tricks with hula hoops.

laaryssa's page activity

Visits<b>zyero</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Swarmling</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:54am<b>MathIsStupid</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:08am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:00pm<b>qwtf</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:17am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Bloopyboink</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:51am<b>Whoop_whoop</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:24pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:53pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:39am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:12am<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:11am<b>nightwings</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:02am<b>mattbaker</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:17am<b>sarahmfighter</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:47pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:45pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:45am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:28am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:37am<b>lex1459</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:00am<b>soak_25</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 4:16am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:21am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 4:38am<b>Shayaan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:09am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:15am<b>davered89</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:15am<b>Sailer16</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:51pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:11pm<b>BriannaOk</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:25am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:52am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:20am<b>CambodianPenguin</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:37am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:59pm<b>bgbell98</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:28am

laaryssa's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of laaryssa's badges

laaryssa's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2015 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Work

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

by jessybear777 / 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

by cyprianista / 02/13/2015 at 11:13am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML

by Epic_failz / 02/10/2015 at 10:53am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

by irwingiggles / 02/08/2015 at 5:26am / Netherlands / Health

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

by MIB thingy please... / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

by lucas90 / 02/04/2015 at 4:42pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm / United States / Health

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

by EvilBubbles / 01/08/2015 at 10:45pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

by innocent / 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years old. FML

by myboyfriendisweird / 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

by I'll Make You FartCum / 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy