Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lBMTHl

Search for a member

lBMTHl

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 969
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About lBMTHl : Not much to say, my name is Jesse. I'm a lead screamer in a band called 'Blood and Thunder', I play xbox and Rugby, message me if you want my gamertag, I'm a nice guy so don't be afarid to message me. :)

lBMTHl's page activity

Visits<b>Micayla</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 10:49pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/22/2011 at 1:47am<b>ajkahn</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 12:10am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:33pm<b>lolmyendoff456</b> - the 05/07/2011 at 11:04am<b>erwinbear</b> - the 02/05/2011 at 9:51pm<b>roeallen</b> - the 02/02/2011 at 9:27pm<b>nathan5</b> - the 01/09/2011 at 3:23pm<b>levitate</b> - the 01/02/2011 at 9:27am

lBMTHl's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lBMTHl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8087) - you deserved it (56930)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13853) - you deserved it (34910)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my favourite shirt on the floor of my dorm's bathroom. Feeling too lazy to bend down, I used my feet to "flick" the shirt up. Apparently, some drunkard took a dump on the floor and used my shirt to cover it up. I now have shit all over my feet, hands and the wall in front of me. FML

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

#6482495
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9188) - you deserved it (42693)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11612) - you deserved it (43945)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22336) - you deserved it (29617)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

#4580514
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58515) - you deserved it (7147)

On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49738) - you deserved it (7801)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82218) - you deserved it (218420)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

#2042132
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37404) - you deserved it (21715)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (261263) - you deserved it (17228)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45491) - you deserved it (2281)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46814) - you deserved it (8748)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: