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lBMTHl

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lBMTHl

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1070
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About lBMTHl : Not much to say, my name is Jesse. I'm a lead screamer in a band called 'Blood and Thunder', I play xbox and Rugby, message me if you want my gamertag, I'm a nice guy so don't be afarid to message me. :)

lBMTHl's page activity

Visits<b>Micayla</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 10:49pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/22/2011 at 1:47am<b>ajkahn</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 12:10am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:33pm<b>lolmyendoff456</b> - the 05/07/2011 at 11:04am<b>erwinbear</b> - the 02/05/2011 at 9:51pm<b>roeallen</b> - the 02/02/2011 at 9:27pm<b>nathan5</b> - the 01/09/2011 at 3:23pm<b>levitate</b> - the 01/02/2011 at 9:27am

lBMTHl's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lBMTHl's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

#14705471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6929) - you deserved it (49876)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40785) - you deserved it (26847) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43984) - you deserved it (6334)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML

#14490872
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (4652)

On 01/06/2011 at 10:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent the first day of the new year helping out at an old folks home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Earnie; an 83 year old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML

#14427516
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (3439)

On 01/01/2011 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

#13937694
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30296) - you deserved it (9867)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

#13829290
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (3229)

On 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm - love - by girlwithaprob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was running a marathon for my school. Two hot girls started talking to me, so I glanced at them and smiled. I turned back, just in time to knee a little boy in the face. FML

#13662632
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21841) - you deserved it (6997)

On 10/31/2010 at 11:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you deserved it (4750)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

#12971497
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (9325)

On 09/09/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by niccy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25196) - you deserved it (56162)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML

#9150166
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10990) - you deserved it (22092)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the roads were OK, so I cleaned the ice and snow off my car so I could go out. I rolled my window down a little bit while I was driving to clear the snow off the base of the window. A chunk of ice flew off my hood, in through the window, and hit my eye. I then hit a snowbank. FML

#8452983
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17203) - you deserved it (4846)

On 02/19/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by ouch - United States

Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

#7642082
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27964) - you deserved it (3344)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10405) - you deserved it (38248)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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