Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

l3g1t1matp1mp3n

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

l3g1t1matp1mp3n

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 August 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 937
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About l3g1t1matp1mp3n : penis

l3g1t1matp1mp3n's page activity

Visits<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:59pm<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:30am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:06pm<b>premiers08</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:22am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:33am<b>martin8337</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:33pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:27pm<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:23pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 6:50pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:48am<b>itscare1217</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:40am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:36pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:29pm<b>meanmuffin</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 7:25pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:37pm<b>DomiLove</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 4:43pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 4:40pm

Fucked!<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 7:06pm

l3g1t1matp1mp3n's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of l3g1t1matp1mp3n's badges

l3g1t1matp1mp3n's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

#21523681
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19200) - you deserved it (1441)

On 02/07/2016 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by OhDearGodGrandad (man) - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

#21506054
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (1499)

On 12/20/2015 at 11:24pm - work - by forever damaged - United States (New York)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51219) - you deserved it (5786)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57744) - you deserved it (9664)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66658) - you deserved it (15591)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46767) - you deserved it (8829)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54492) - you deserved it (7941)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50806) - you deserved it (7090)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63668) - you deserved it (4654)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54263) - you deserved it (27911)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45247) - you deserved it (5621)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37702) - you deserved it (31327)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45898) - you deserved it (3457)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60315) - you deserved it (9754)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: