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l3g1t1matp1mp3n

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l3g1t1matp1mp3n

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 370
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About l3g1t1matp1mp3n : My name is Layne (pronounced: Lane) I live in Yorktown, Va. Oh what is that you say? You want to learn more? Send me a message

l3g1t1matp1mp3n's page activity

Visits<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:27pm<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:23pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 6:50pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:48am<b>itscare1217</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:40am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:36pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:29pm<b>meanmuffin</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 7:25pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:37pm<b>DomiLove</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 4:43pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 4:40pm<b>jakegirolami</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 3:42pm<b>Sierra7211</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 3:25pm<b>hayleybaaby</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 7:01am<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:03am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 5:51am<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 2:23am<b>DuckAssassin32</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 4:00pm

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l3g1t1matp1mp3n's favorite FMLs

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42725) - you deserved it (8191)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48069) - you deserved it (7022)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47107) - you deserved it (6668)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59497) - you deserved it (4349)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48941) - you deserved it (25502)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41769) - you deserved it (5193)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33853) - you deserved it (28896)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56169) - you deserved it (9170)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

#20870154
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50380) - you deserved it (6272)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by jesus christ, dad (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32863) - you deserved it (10321)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58775) - you deserved it (4190)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42727) - you deserved it (4864)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55774) - you deserved it (4417)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48459) - you deserved it (8057) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version



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