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kymidwest

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kymidwest

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  • Number of visits : 542
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kymidwest's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42685) - you deserved it (7876)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

#14091459
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38215) - you deserved it (4133)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16484) - you deserved it (38881)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16484) - you deserved it (38881)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

#13929879
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (4531)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by poomaster - United States (California)

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

#13645205
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39138) - you deserved it (10665)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML

#13512603
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (9461)

On 10/19/2010 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19430) - you deserved it (25877)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

#12752229
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29927) - you deserved it (3960)

On 08/26/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (49104)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

#7395726
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42850) - you deserved it (2178)

On 01/17/2010 at 9:41am - misc - by forgottendaughter (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML

#7256153
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10897) - you deserved it (52228)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37am - health - by badsister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

#7169187
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (3472)

On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (3347)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML

#7025627
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (2535)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:03am - intimacy - by wheresthelove (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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