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kymidwest

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kymidwest

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  • Number of visits : 508
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kymidwest's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29229) - you deserved it (8433)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

#19786786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (2160)

On 06/14/2012 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12707) - you deserved it (23027)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (8151)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (4083)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14359) - you deserved it (49841)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29837) - you deserved it (4104)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

#18825436
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (8479)

On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46593) - you deserved it (3233)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, it's New Year's Eve. My husband and I weren't invited to any parties, and we don't have a sitter to be able to go out by ourselves. Instead, I'm watching "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" on the Disney channel with our 5-year-old, and my husband has passed out on the couch from sheer boredom. FML

#18667282
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (6730)

On 12/31/2011 at 8:22pm - misc - by Livewire (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (5151)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49881) - you deserved it (4544)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54781) - you deserved it (5405)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were on a romantic dinner for two, I tried pulling out the chair for her. She fell. FML

#17737171
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23716) - you deserved it (5547)

On 09/13/2011 at 4:13pm - misc - by jake (man) - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

#17078308
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22057) - you deserved it (3122)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:19am - kids - by SaggyBoy135 - United States (New Jersey)



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