Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 11/28/2014 at 8:35am) | Search for a member
About kylefry6996 : Hi! my name is Kyle. I currently live in Lancaster Pennsylvania. I'm officially graduated! I plan on being a Secondary Education Major specializing in Social Studies. My plan might sound boring, but I'm living my dream. And that's all that matters to me. I Love meeting new people. So If you're bored, send a message! Thanks for reading. Have a great day :) Fml's are the shit. Lol
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
yesterday I was on a plane returning to University.. . an I decided to shut my eyes . I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to fine I couldn't move at all . I was in sleep paralysis . The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat . FML
Today... I was excited to get my frst writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
wile sopping, looool I saw a little girl an er mom. Te girl was pouting so I tried to ceer er up by asking er if se was a princess, because se was so pretty. Se smiled but er mom looked at me wit disgust an told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, boyfriand told ma tat a ad onca baan possassad by damons, and tat a now slaap wit a knifa undar is pillow for protaction from, "Ta dark spirit tat ara faasting upon is soul." I'm sura tat I'll ba slaaping ovar anytima soon!! FML
Today, I accidentally decodd the system my parent use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossd-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" big fat FML
Today, mah mom threw mah tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead . Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking there tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk . FML
Yesterday , while I was getting intimate with my husband , he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML
Today , I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at mah twin brother fir getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says ( It's not mine. ) Confused , I look at the ticket and see mah name. He used mah license. FML
Today, I decided to tell my motherhat I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, tohich she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to looool see a cross nailed above my door.
Friday 27 March 2015