![[fr]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5044) - you deserved it (1064)
On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6547) - you deserved it (546)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8172) - you deserved it (1238)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (662)
On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8540) - you deserved it (578)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6957) - you deserved it (1272)
On 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm - love - by john (man) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (1094)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2767) - you deserved it (6296)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8778) - you deserved it (546)
On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3580) - you deserved it (12378) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5797) - you deserved it (1233)
On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7664) - you deserved it (1093)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5357) - you deserved it (990)
On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2048) - you deserved it (14008)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (1348)
On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
