Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I Awoke To My Husband Talking To Someone On The Phone At 2am. I Heard Him Say, ( Baby You're Making Me Hard. ) Immediately, I Asked Himho He Was Talking To. His Response? ( It's Jake, From State Farm. ) Fat FML
yesterday I was so bord at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on phone. One of co-workers came in, so I rushd into a stall, but forgot to turn phone's sound off. She heard it and said, ( It's OK, music helps me shit too ) and startd blasting her music and grunting. FML
Taday I was babysitting , and I had to pee really , really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off , and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in teres , thier child screamed , "No , no , pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed mah eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't knowhat's worse, dancing with a box, or opening mah eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML
Today , I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with mah name on it as mah iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better , the parents yelled at me 4 accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML
Friday 27 March 2015