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kyara2012's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
kyara2012's favorite FMLs
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by SolaceInRage / 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
by shittysongs / 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by Ugh / 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
by soaked / 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by xtammyle / 02/19/2013 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
by teacher / 01/25/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 1:50am / United States / Work
Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML
by foreveralone / 11/13/2012 at 5:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Medic / 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML
by davifilo / 10/26/2012 at 5:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was… Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said… Today, my dad mentioned how quickly I go through batteries. I've been single and celibate since I…