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kxxjoejoexxk

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kxxjoejoexxk
  • Town/Country : amurica, america
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 65
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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kxxjoejoexxk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

#20624598
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46676) - you deserved it (2733)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (16752) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34994) - you deserved it (15530)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML

#20551039
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33555) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by :( - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33092) - you deserved it (1504)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38126) - you deserved it (4756)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22919) - you deserved it (1912)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

#20517316
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (2196)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by PoorMe - United States

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

#20495701
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (1266)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22075) - you deserved it (3255)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (3315)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML

#20414233
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (5621)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:19pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8178) - you deserved it (54782)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8178) - you deserved it (54782)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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