Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About kwchambers92 : Now known as Jesus on FML, like it? No? Too bad!
Born 1/23/45 HAH! Not try 5/16/92
I'm an asshole, dick, douche, whatever you prefer, but I'm happy with who I am and what I have, so what can you do right? I hate judgmental people, college brats, spoiled brats, people who don't accept you for what you are, and people in general.
I really enjoy punching, kicking, elbowing, or kneeing peoples faces, as well as scissor trips, armbars, hip tosses, miracle tosses, and teeps.
5ft 11in tall, 170-185 lbs
Muay Thai, Judo, BJJ, Kickboxing, Wrestling
"Sometimes your flush and sometimes you're bust, when you're up it's never as good as it seems and when you're down you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on"
"I'm not a racist dick I hate everybody"
If for some reason, you think of me as a hero of some sort, please do let me know.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML
Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML
Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
Friday 19 December 2014