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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
MY BEST FRIEND WAS THROWING ME MAH BACHELORETTE PARTLY . A COP CUMMED BY AND SAID THERE HAVE BEEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NOISE . THINKING HE WAS THE STRIPPER WE ORDERED, WE PULLED HIM INTO THE HOUSE . HE WAS AN ACTUAL COP . MEGA FML
in mah job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get poster signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, ( unles your sucking mah cock then get the fuck out of here ) an had the poster slapped out of mah hands. It's mah job to deal with these pricks. FML
2day my dad yet again utterd the words "well, that escalatd quickly,"hile watching the news . He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day . I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already . He raisd an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalatd quickly." FML
Today, while on the way to Florida fir spring break, I pointed out to mah mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mrror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. real FML
Today, I Awoke To My Husband Talking To Someone On The Phone At 2am. I Heard Him Say, ( Baby You're Making Me Hard. ) Immediately, I Asked Himho He Was Talking To. His Response? ( It's Jake, From State Farm. ) Fat FML
Today , I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it , an as her legs just looked like they needed touching up , I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time , she cummed back , thanked me an left. Her legs were still hary. big fat FML
Today, I went to the arport after saying goodbye to my, fir some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opend my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretendd to know wat it was. FML
TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML
2day mah grandson visitd me, an askd if I had any pictures of myself fromhen I was a little girl !! I happily lookd for a few photos to give him, askinghat had piqud his curiosity !! He replid that he wantd some for looool a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages !! FML
Today, mah psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized fir her ( mistake ), saying, ( It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara. ) Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
Friday 27 March 2015