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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35056) - you deserved it (15546)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45737) - you deserved it (4137)
On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (2281)
On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17061) - you deserved it (46029)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (3863)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (1550)
On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63750) - you deserved it (5862)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30776) - you deserved it (1694)
On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (5142)
On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37694) - you deserved it (2813)
On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)
Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41766) - you deserved it (1960)
On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29388) - you deserved it (6741)
On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27283) - you deserved it (1758) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)
Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34829) - you deserved it (5212)
On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (1756)
On 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by sickness and health my sphincter (woman) - Singapore
Monday 17 June 2013
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