kurbanfan

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kurbanfan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 March 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1078
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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kurbanfan's page activity

Visits<b>CH1CKEN_FL1PPEN</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 4:58pm

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kurbanfan's favorite FMLs

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

by therevsev / 10/02/2011 at 2:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend preferred to delete his account than admit we are in a relationship on Facebook. FML

by lexyloo / 09/25/2011 at 9:52pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

by fluke / 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML

by inlovewithstupid / 09/04/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

by ashlyn / 08/06/2011 at 1:41am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML

by jared77 / 08/02/2011 at 12:26pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML

by jared77 / 08/02/2011 at 12:26pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML

by Username / 07/17/2011 at 3:59pm / United States / Health