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kungfuzoey

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kungfuzoey

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  • Number of visits : 1379
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kungfuzoey's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 9:54am

kungfuzoey's FML badges

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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kungfuzoey's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19606) - you deserved it (1886)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32242) - you deserved it (3387)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35067) - you deserved it (6735)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18851) - you deserved it (38330)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37384) - you deserved it (4267)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

#21302935
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29230) - you deserved it (9396)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32008) - you deserved it (3308)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (3718)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

#21294024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (2239)

On 11/07/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by NoToBombs - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35548) - you deserved it (4128)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

#21291250
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (4600)

On 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by EliseV (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35847) - you deserved it (3960)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31176) - you deserved it (3700)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

#21283230
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31516) - you deserved it (4127)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by CJune24 (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)



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