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kungfuzoey

Offline (the 07/13/2015 at 4:48am) | Search for a member

kungfuzoey

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  • Number of visits : 2591
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kungfuzoey's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 9:54am

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kungfuzoey's favorite FMLs

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

#21439547
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (2789)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24425) - you deserved it (4490)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend dumped sand into the crankcase of my truck and then filled it to the top with water after I dumped him for being immature and not respecting my things. FML

#21427999
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (2995)

On 06/18/2015 at 8:36am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

#21426566
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (8554)

On 06/15/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by HttpsHaileyy - United States

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31812) - you deserved it (5003)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35254) - you deserved it (6971)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27848) - you deserved it (4977)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

#21418659
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24788) - you deserved it (5123)

On 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

#21417851
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29488) - you deserved it (2494)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30608) - you deserved it (2004)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

#21409473
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31528) - you deserved it (2348)

On 05/13/2015 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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