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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28689) - you deserved it (2736)
On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (4962)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13761) - you deserved it (4228)
On 12/11/2009 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by badbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9376) - you deserved it (3896)
On 12/10/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6674) - you deserved it (16691)
On 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by nickyy (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67410) - you deserved it (9582)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (102895) - you deserved it (4211)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (46171) - you deserved it (10443)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16655) - you deserved it (28026)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35428) - you deserved it (99710)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (84312) - you deserved it (5476)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16929) - you deserved it (40244)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52324) - you deserved it (26554)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68612) - you deserved it (9506)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (59133)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
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