kumalo

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kumalo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 598
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kumalo's page activity

Visits<b>Ford_Guy_5_0</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:23am<b>Evanito007</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:10am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:00am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 6:25pm<b>kk122100</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 5:42pm<b>guckylynn</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:43am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:26pm<b>andrewscity116</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 11:20pm<b>Possum_Gurl</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 5:04pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 1:15am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:14am<b>hannahchik13</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 3:43pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:51pm<b>shibeep</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:46pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:32pm<b>colerean</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 6:41pm

kumalo's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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kumalo's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

by ... / 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

by Fatty1970 / 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, my sister and I both got "good luck" cards from our aunt wishing us well on our exams. My sister's said "We know you will do well". Mine said "We will love you no matter what happens". FML

by simonjudy / 05/14/2011 at 4:09pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 8:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2010 at 3:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2009 at 5:41am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

by yodada / 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health