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kultyre

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kultyre

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 March 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 406
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kultyre : You're a shovel.

kultyre's page activity

Visits<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:30am<b>Wellsley_493</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 1:19pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 12:09pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:53am<b>Snackycake</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 3:13pm<b>vangiesanders1</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 5:43pm<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 7:04am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 3:09am<b>Tori1991</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 7:54am<b>Attica</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 2:00pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 12:35am<b>rawrgle</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 12:27am<b>Beliebergirl10</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 11:15pm<b>XanderJayNix</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 10:30pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 3:51pm<b>MrMonkey87</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 4:10pm<b>xenitra</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 8:22pm

kultyre's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of kultyre's badges

kultyre's favorite FMLs

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41889) - you deserved it (4248)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47976) - you deserved it (9550)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47793) - you deserved it (11213)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44158) - you deserved it (5839)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

#20935170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46367) - you deserved it (4188)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by MsConfusedd (woman) - United States

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41831) - you deserved it (4060)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79812) - you deserved it (8243)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48319) - you deserved it (5997)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40868) - you deserved it (4759)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (59918)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25291) - you deserved it (43116)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34297) - you deserved it (4670)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12874) - you deserved it (40431)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

#20189035
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (2079)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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