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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 March 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 886
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kultyre : You're a shovel.

kultyre's page activity

Visits<b>screamogirl123</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 7:58pm<b>roman11</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 1:40am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:51pm<b>aruden</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:47am<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:30am<b>Wellsley_493</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 1:19pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 12:09pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:53am<b>Snackycake</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 3:13pm<b>vangiesanders1</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 5:43pm<b>MissVeracity</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 7:04am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 3:09am<b>Tori1991</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 7:54am<b>Attica</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 2:00pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 12:35am<b>rawrgle</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 12:27am<b>Beliebergirl10</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 11:15pm<b>XanderJayNix</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 10:30pm

Fucked!<b>screamogirl123</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:58am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:21pm

kultyre's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of kultyre's badges

kultyre's favorite FMLs

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 1:14am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

by Lonesome / 01/01/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

by MsConfusedd / 10/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

by DrewK / 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

by themouseman1212 / 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

by Amanda / 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm / Canada / Kids

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

by Raiden / 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Barnsley) / Love

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

by Laila / 02/20/2013 at 7:01am / United States / Kids

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

by Stupendous_ / 12/03/2012 at 2:17am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous