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kttywitt7

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kttywitt7

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  • Number of visits : 381
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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kttywitt7's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

#2797369
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (51395)

On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

#2780128
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39879) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/10/2009 at 6:50pm - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99078) - you deserved it (6260)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

#2494614
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18563) - you deserved it (46833)

On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

#2291155
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16948) - you deserved it (41587)

On 05/25/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by Droolgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83185) - you deserved it (10186)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was surprised to learn that I could carry on intelligent conversations about basketball with my guy friends. Then I realized it was because my boyfriend insists on watching ESPN while we have sex. FML

#2133178
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54613) - you deserved it (7668)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:04am - intimacy - by S (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

#2074546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62327) - you deserved it (7943)

On 05/19/2009 at 6:13am - misc - by notnerb - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

#1193319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68153) - you deserved it (6457)

On 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70895) - you deserved it (18371)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240002) - you deserved it (31636)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



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