kto123

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Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 2:37pm)

kto123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 November 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1618
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kto123's page activity

Visits<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:52pm<b>aznmuffin44</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:05pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:50am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:50pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:23pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:41pm<b>jessal</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 8:39pm<b>VanOBrien</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:40pm<b>dmcd_39</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:51pm<b>cargaljen</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 9:50pm<b>energizerbunny23</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 5:17am<b>JMichael</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 3:11pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:34pm<b>tulha</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:59am<b>tompou6</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:04am<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:41pm<b>pompomkiwi</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 11:10pm

kto123's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of kto123's badges

kto123's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

by oh why... / 12/20/2013 at 9:51am / United States / Love

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

by Chatons / 12/05/2013 at 1:52am / Switzerland / Animals

Today, I woke up and screamed: My older sister had placed a Furby right by my face while I was asleep. This is a common occurrence. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2013 at 11:27am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

by katchoo / 11/03/2013 at 2:34am / Denmark / Animals

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

by theynamedmeluke / 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

by numbnuts / 09/23/2013 at 1:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

by Poly24 / 08/27/2013 at 6:32am / Kids

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals