This member hasn't filled in their description.
kto123's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
kto123's favorite FMLs
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by disappointed / 03/25/2014 at 7:36am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
by Shiva / 03/18/2014 at 4:46am / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Animals
Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML
by broken vows / 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML
by xtinasky1 / 03/06/2014 at 11:24pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML
by ZombiexIce / 02/09/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Animals
by australian6196 / 02/04/2014 at 9:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML
by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…