kto123

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Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 2:37pm)

kto123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1150
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kto123's page activity

Visits<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:52pm<b>aznmuffin44</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:05pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:50am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:50pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:23pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:41pm<b>jessal</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 8:39pm<b>VanOBrien</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:40pm<b>dmcd_39</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:51pm<b>cargaljen</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 9:50pm<b>energizerbunny23</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 5:17am<b>JMichael</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 3:11pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:34pm<b>tulha</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:59am<b>tompou6</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:04am<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:41pm<b>pompomkiwi</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 11:10pm

kto123's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of kto123's badges

kto123's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

by disappointed / 03/25/2014 at 7:36am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

by Shiva / 03/18/2014 at 4:46am / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Animals

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

by broken vows / 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

by xtinasky1 / 03/06/2014 at 11:24pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

by ZombiexIce / 02/09/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML

by australian6196 / 02/04/2014 at 9:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids