Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kto123

Offline (the 06/23/2014 at 5:09am) | Search for a member

kto123

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 November 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 203
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kto123's page activity

Visits<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:50pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:23pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:41pm<b>jessal</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 8:39pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:05pm<b>VanOBrien</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:40pm<b>dmcd_39</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:51pm<b>cargaljen</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 9:50pm<b>energizerbunny23</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 5:17am<b>JMichael</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 3:11pm<b>13taylorswift</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 9:26pm<b>olpally</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:05pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:34pm<b>tulha</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:59am<b>tompou6</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:04am<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:41pm<b>pompomkiwi</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 11:10pm

kto123's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of kto123's badges

kto123's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40796) - you deserved it (4029)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48055) - you deserved it (4337)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59653) - you deserved it (4613)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

#21191359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42163) - you deserved it (5995)

On 06/28/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Puzzlepiece - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45242) - you deserved it (5088)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51808) - you deserved it (16786)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML

#21160529
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49701) - you deserved it (4115)

On 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found a movie he loved on Netflix. He was so excited to show it to me and was certain I'd love it. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought of White Chicks. FML

#21148492
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35615) - you deserved it (9195)

On 05/22/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40963) - you deserved it (8056)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58674) - you deserved it (5030)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42865) - you deserved it (6126)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51874) - you deserved it (4690)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55137) - you deserved it (7017)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely something…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: