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ktm71125

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ktm71125

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ktm71125ktm71125
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 November 1984 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 280
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 40 posted

About ktm71125 : United States Marine Corp

ktm71125's page activity

Visits<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:48am<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 8:01pm<b>dillonfi</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:13pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 1:31am<b>GuitarFail123</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:50pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:53pm<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:13pm<b>FallenLyric</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:47pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:22pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 6:56pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:33pm<b>darwinism</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Liv_the_demon</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:44pm<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 6:57pm<b>Mugi</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:18am<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:31am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:16pm<b>windell</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:36pm

Liked!<b>Wingman527</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 12:56am<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 4:23am

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ktm71125's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (3334)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (36060)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41890) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45743) - you deserved it (4921)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46290) - you deserved it (8711)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46138) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42809) - you deserved it (7981)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57110) - you deserved it (3376)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49518) - you deserved it (10679)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53877) - you deserved it (3459)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47464) - you deserved it (5886)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47235) - you deserved it (4988)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65650) - you deserved it (18716)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50092) - you deserved it (7075)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)



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