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kstevens29

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kstevens29

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  • Number of visits : 215
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kstevens29's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15366) - you deserved it (43292)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16573) - you deserved it (29919)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

#19247785
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23088) - you deserved it (5695)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27047) - you deserved it (8870)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21809) - you deserved it (1807)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10919) - you deserved it (35808)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

#19131070
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (6236)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States

Today, I realized that with all the money I've spent on repairs for my iPhone through the months, I could have bought a phone that doesn't die horribly whenever I so much as give it a mean look. FML

#19108975
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7939) - you deserved it (20449)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, someone peed in my physical education locker. The only way someone could've done it is with a ladder. I'm so popular it hurts. FML

#19084261
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (4576)

On 02/15/2012 at 7:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6861) - you deserved it (48795)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18034) - you deserved it (4937)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (15256)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (2068)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (2953)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (22506)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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