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Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you totally deserved it (15871)
On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14479) - you totally deserved it (28545)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you totally deserved it (37076)
On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11054) - you totally deserved it (44767)
On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - misc - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9528) - you totally deserved it (55544)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by morningeyes (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" and then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9254) - you totally deserved it (59393)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - misc - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
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