About kspear2 : Reading all these fucked up things make me feel better about my fucked up life
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Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83271) - you deserved it (3856)
On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9601) - you deserved it (17841)
On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27975) - you deserved it (3583)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38667) - you deserved it (71408)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13246) - you deserved it (52668)
On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60529) - you deserved it (8250)
On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80530) - you deserved it (19337)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
I agree, your life sucks (77199) - you deserved it (2750)
On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21626) - you deserved it (48882)
On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54158) - you deserved it (424641)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14012) - you deserved it (38971)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32101) - you deserved it (5098)
On 02/15/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by efffmylife - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (5882)
On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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