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ksamp

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ksamp

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  • Number of visits : 79
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ksamp's page activity

Visits<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/26/2011 at 8:23pm

ksamp's FML badges

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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

ksamp's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (3182)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25496) - you deserved it (2394)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20402) - you deserved it (40888)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38912) - you deserved it (3295)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41054) - you deserved it (7184)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40381) - you deserved it (4214)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34117) - you deserved it (3764)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45623) - you deserved it (25112)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55389) - you deserved it (9853)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
638 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27552) - you deserved it (270240)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a customer at one of my tables left his phone number and a smiley face on the credit card slip. I was completely flattered until I looked at the bottom of the slip and realized that he had left me a $0.26 tip. FML

#19721
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (2515)

On 02/10/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by appleville (woman) - United States (North Dakota)



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