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Offline (the 10/21/2015 at 5:47am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 August 1982 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 982
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About kryxen : Just started my new job as a trucker.

kryxen's page activity

Visits<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 5:08am<b>demassa</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:40pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 7:53pm<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:33pm<b>saf99me</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:05am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:30pm<b>xx_ginny</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:18am<b>Dlzq</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 2:02am<b>melons</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 6:58pm<b>Sara95</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 8:30pm<b>kAPISH</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 5:47pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 9:40am<b>PhotoSmith</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 8:28pm<b>AliceWhovian</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 6:47pm<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:06am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 3:07pm<b>Clancker1223</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 3:48am

Fucked!<b>demassa</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:41pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:53am

kryxen's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kryxen's badges

kryxen's favorite FMLs

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

by crop circle galore / 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm / United States / Work

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

by wtfjusthappened / 01/31/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm / United States / Kids

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

by lukas / 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

by disappointed / 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 4:36pm / Work

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

by fail / 08/18/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 4:01pm / Portugal / Intimacy

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work