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kryxen

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kryxen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 August 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 584
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About kryxen : Just started my new job as a trucker.

kryxen's page activity

Visits<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:33pm<b>saf99me</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:05am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:30pm<b>xx_ginny</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:18am<b>Dlzq</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 2:02am<b>melons</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 6:58pm<b>Sara95</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 8:30pm<b>kAPISH</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 5:47pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 9:40am<b>PhotoSmith</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 8:28pm<b>AliceWhovian</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 6:47pm<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:06am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 3:07pm<b>Clancker1223</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 3:48am<b>WantsHazzasGravy</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 11:57pm<b>luckych4rmz</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 12:44pm<b>Ramell</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 3:00am

kryxen's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kryxen's badges

kryxen's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

#21325257
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37173) - you deserved it (2711)

On 12/27/2014 at 11:54am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45828) - you deserved it (2949)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

#21143037
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47398) - you deserved it (5267)

On 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59242) - you deserved it (11474)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

#21031747
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48727) - you deserved it (5781)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39414) - you deserved it (20917)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

#21023843
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49289) - you deserved it (7611)

On 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by lukas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53386) - you deserved it (5401)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45815) - you deserved it (8407)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

#20870380
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48785) - you deserved it (3201)

On 09/06/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31565) - you deserved it (61822)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

#20818899
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55883) - you deserved it (8333)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54965) - you deserved it (6362)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59391) - you deserved it (6970)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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