krystle817

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Offline (the 05/25/2015 at 2:58pm)

krystle817

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 August 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 631
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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krystle817's page activity

Visits<b>pawesome21</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 5:13pm<b>ebonyirony</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:08am<b>Tr0ub3l</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:15pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:42pm<b>xnikkilynn</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:13pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:28am<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:52am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 5:51pm<b>ruahogfan2</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 8:07am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:54pm<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:13am<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:31am<b>Ishq786</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 6:35am<b>olpally</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 5:32pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 9:31am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:07pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:46pm<b>maz95</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 8:00am

Fucked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:38am

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krystle817's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

by anonymus / 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

by 504-A1 / 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

by BadgerSpirit / 04/27/2011 at 9:35am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

by beya / 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

by mel / 08/30/2009 at 11:23am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

by Maria39018 / 08/01/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

by Terry / 07/13/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

by thelarkscaw / 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

by superfkd / 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

by Noname / 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love